Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
