looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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