Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
