Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
