People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
