seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
