I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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