32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
whose parrot is this?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
as a side note pls kill me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
