If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
