Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
