Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
