i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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