dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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