can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
