There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
