Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
