Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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