So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
