Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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