I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
