im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
