sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
