Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
