I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
