Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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