So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
