You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
