waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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