dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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