didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
