Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
