Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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