I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
