Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
