Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
