that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
