you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
