I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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