"it" just moved
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
