arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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