hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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