I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
