since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
