I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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