Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
