it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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