its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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