I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need moral support for this bender
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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