We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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