You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
