69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Success! We fucked roommates!
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