I will die if light touches me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
